February 19th, 2008
The car phone rang. He answered it. It was his wife, “Honey, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on the motorway.” He replies, “Hell, it’s not just one, there are hundreds of them.”
If you have any funny senior moments, please contact us so we can post them.
This post was first seen on www.dullmen.com/senior_moments.htm
February 13th, 2008
I can always tell when an overstressed caregiver calls looking to arrange home health care services for their loved one. They are so stressed out that you can hear it in their voice. As they begin to tell you about their situation, you can hear the tears welling up inside. This is such a difficult situation, but there are things you can do to try and prevent it from getting to that point.
1) Seek help, either from professionals such as geriatric care managers, home health agencies, adult day care or any other service or seek help from family and friends. Don’t be ashamed to ask for it and when it is offered, do not be too proud to accept it. The county Office On Aging often offers free respite programs and advice.
2) Exercise regularly by walking, riding a bike or doing mind body exercises such as tai chi, yoga or Qi gong.
3) Eat well, you will feel better and have more energy.
4) Get enough rest and sleep
Most importantly, think of yourself and NEVER feel guilty for getting getting help or taking the time needed for yourself.
February 5th, 2008
Two elderly gentlemen, Jack and Harry, were chatting over coffee one morning.
Jack. “Me and the Mrs. went to a good restaurant last night.”
Harry. “What was it called”
Jack was clearly struggling to recall the name. —What’s the name of that flower that women like to get”
“No. It’s usually red with big petals”
No. It has a thorny stem.
Do you mean a rose?
Jack picks up his cell phone and phones his wife. —Rose. What was the name of that restaurant we went to last night
Thanks to Peter Kilcoyne for this
This blog was originally found at dullmen.com
February 5th, 2008
This is supposedly a true account recorded in the police log in Sarasota FL.
An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle.
She dropper her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs,“I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!”
The four men didn’t wait for a second threat. They got out and ran like mad.
The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then realized why. It was for the same reason she had wondered why there was a football, a Frisbee and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat.
A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake.
The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn’t stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, curly white hair and carrying a large handgun.
No charges were filed.
Morale of the story? If you’re going to have a senior moment…make it memorable.
January 29th, 2008
By Joce Callegari of Creative Group Consulting
How much more difficult caring for someone with dementia can be if not for family issues? So, what happened that has made it so hard to be a caregiver and deal with the family relationships?
To begin with, I think that you have to look at when you were young, what kind of caregiving did your parents do for their parents, sisters or friends? When I grew up, our family had the “elders” living with a daughter or son until they were physically too ill to have home care.
Every family seems to have one person that becomes the “one” designated caregiver. Hopefully, that person wants to be there. But in some cases today, when the family dysfunction is everywhere, when the parents were divorced and the families fractured, “when the music stopped” – whoever was closest ends up with the task of Caregiving.
I am a caregiver for my husband whose three adult children promised to help, if and when he needed it when we married 15 years ago. For 10 years, they came and stayed, eating our food, driving our cars and enjoying our hospitality when we lived in Scottsdale, AZ. But when the going got tough, the kids reverted to their old ways and the family issues that always existed reared their “ugly” heads.
I have to say I was surprised. I thought I had some “credits” in the bank for help later after many years of hosting free winter “holidays” but I never knew that they never helped care for their mother before she died. Because my husband emigrated from the UK to Canada, they never saw him doing caregiving up close and personal in their lifetime.
I had to “shut-off the bank” and put the “no vacancy sign” out as my husband needed more care and the dementia started to get serious, and I didn’t have enough capacity to be a “hostess”. Then, they slowly disappeared. One son came one week when we moved and three years later – he still tells us that is “how he helped.” A friend told me when her brother comes to watch her Mum when she goes grocery shopping for an hour or two a week, he feels he is doing “his part”.
The periods without contact got longer for us and now that we could really use help, my husband gets a call he doesn’t understand on Christmas, his birthday and maybe Father’s Day. Lately, they don’t want to hear the details of his dementia from me – it is easier. That way, they can pretend that it is my choice not to put him in a care home and my problem.
In some cases, other caregivers have told me the family issues are about greed; there is a little money coming in from pensions and social security and if “Mum lives with you, she doesn’t eat much. So, where is all the money going?”
Sometimes, it is about decisions on care; siblings want you to consult them but from personal experience, decisions become a “dance” between you and the doctors to guess what to do to slow down the dementia. With any caregiving, the learning curve causes you have to have one point of contact for dealing with decisions on care. Hopefully, you have or are a family caregiver that listens to everyone’s ideas and comes up with the best solution.
In some cases, there were family dynamics that you may not be aware of that have come into play and it has nothing to do with dementia – it is simply a lack of character or selfishness. Let’s face it, many caregivers (like me) are “baby-boomers”, hitting their own mid-life crisis and it is still “all about us.”
You can drive yourself crazy with trying to “make the family help” so my advice is to be the example to your children. If we are fortunate enough to live a long life, they will use our model to care for us.
I am satisfied with being free with from the toxic relationships they had with me and their dad. While I don’t understand how they can let the time pass without seeing and talking to their dad while he is here, I don’t have to understand. It is not my issue. I am still enjoying some quality time him.
For more information on dementia and caregiving look for Hippygirl52 at Eons www.eons.com/groups/group/Caregiver
January 18th, 2008
Recent research has found that there are ways to have an individual with Alzheimer’s moved into a facility that helps maintain their cognitive abilities at their current level. Gradually transitioning the afflicted person by starting them in an adult day care center and then, once they are fully acclimated to that new surrounding, moving them into the facility seems to make the move much smoother. When a person is moved directly from their home into a facility there is a rapid cognitive decline compared to the gradual transition.
For a more detailed description, go to:
January 11th, 2008
Unlike their parents before them, boomers vote less along party lines and more based on the issues. Why does this happen and how can the candidates take advantage of this?
In the households of many boomers, their parents were typically democrats or republicans and usually voted strictly along party lines. Their children were obviously influenced by this; however, these same children have broken away from that type of behavior. A few reasons could be:
- Boomers have heard so many lies from politicians that they no longer believe or trust a politician just because he or she represents the party they support. Instead, boomers tend to find a candidate they can believe in who also represents what their interests are.
- Political parties tend to be dominated by the left or right, which does not necessarily represent the majority of boomers. Instead, boomers are again looking for a candidate that represents the way they look at things.
- Boomer vote with more self-interest in mind than their parents did. They tend to view entitlements and obligations on their terms. For example, they do not believe they owe the country certain obligations such as military service and paying more taxes. The candidates that address the issues that affect boomers directly are more likely to capture their vote.
Obviously, the war is a major issue. Other issues will be the economy, alternative fuel development, health care and immigration.
To read more about this subject, go to http://ezinearticles.com/?id=917340
January 10th, 2008
Reversing the affects of Alzheimer’s is one of the greatest challenges modern medicine has been trying to overcome. A new article in Science Daily describes the use of anti-TNF therapeutics as a new potential treatment option. By injecting these drugs into a patient, remarkable improvements have been seen in just a few minutes. While it is not a complete reversal or cure, it may lead us down the path to creating new medicines that will provide even greater results. For more details, go to http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/01/080109091102.htm
January 2nd, 2008
Boomers may need to think differently when it comes to planning for their retirment. Extending life expectancy seems like a good thing, however, one of the problems is that long lived seniors may outlive their savings. A recent study has found that family members caring for an aging parent or spouse spend approximately 10 percent of their household income on this care. According to the National Alliance on Caregiving, things such as groceries and household goods, drugs and medical co-payments, and transportation are the most commonly purchased.
This means that boomers now need to think about paying for their parents in addition to themselves when they retire. To see the article in full, go to http://ezinearticles.com/?New-Considerations-When-Planning-For-Retirement&id=863386
December 18th, 2007
Part II of the CareGrade interview with Carol Bradely Bursack
What is the biggest complaint you hear about finding care?
Seeking care for a loved one can be a confusing and frustrating experience. People do not know how to get the appropriate information and do not know their options. Dealing with insurance, Medicare and Medicaid can seem like a full-time job, and my result in not obtaining all the benefits that are available. Getting advice from people who have or are confronting the same issues can be helpful. Another good option is to hire
a qualified professional geriatric care manager, if one is available in your area. They can be found at www.caremanager.org. This can be especially helpful if your loved one lives out of town..
What advice do you have for our readers?
If you decide to put a loved one into a nursing home or assisted living facility, do not feel guilty about it. You are not giving up or abandoning them. You are still the caregiver, but are now getting the extra help that can benefit both of you.
If you ask most seniors where they want to be, they will almost always tell you they would prefer to stay at home. While most people are very comfortable in their homes, it may not be the best place for them. The bathrooms may be upstairs, or the house in need of repair. Unfortunately, many people still think of nursing homes and assisted living facilities as cold, uncaring institutions. This may be true of some, but today many homes offer personalized care in a comfortable, homey environment.
When considering a facility for your loved one, the most important thing to look for is how well the staff treats each other and the residents. In her book, “Old Age in a New Age: The Promise of Transformative Nursing Homes”, Beth Baker discusses the need for management to treat certified nurses aides (cna’s) with the respect they deserve. A staff is well- treated will, in turn, treat the residents well. Before deciding on a facility, visit it all times of the day and night. Observe how nurses treat cna’s, and how cna’s treat each other and the rest of the staff. That is the best clue as to how the residents will be treated.
What resources would you recommend for caregivers?
Go to websites such as mindingourelders.com, caregrade.com, alzheimers.org, Healthcentral.com, and Eldercare.gov. Eldercare.gov has the eldercare locator, a useful tool for people looking for help. Just be aware that the services found on this site have not been screened.
How do you think the internet will affect caregivers in the future?
I think the internet is great and is going to continue growing. Helpful information is available 24/7, with a growing number of quality sites, chat groups and forums. However, caregivers are very vulnerable and need to be wary of what they read and with whom they communicate. That said, the internet is a great resource that can help caregivers lose that feeling of isolation and let them know there is hope.
Carol Bradley Bursack is a columnist, speaker, blogger and author of “Minding our Elders:Caregivers Share their Personal Stories.” Her blogs can be found at www.mindingoureldersblogs.com and www.healthcentral.com/alzheimers